Posts Tagged ‘law enforcement marriage’
Chp 8: Stuff Happens – How to Handle His Crisis
How to Deal with His Crisis Whatever crises our husbands undergo, they need us, and they need us to be strong. Depending on the circumstances, we could be the ones who are there for him to talk out some of the emotion. But when it’s too big for us, we can come alongside and love…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens: Suicide
Fifteen Is Enough! A few years back, Brent and I were getting ready for bed at the end of the day when he checked his Blackberry one last time. Another suicide. It was number fifteen for our department in a period of four years. I cried out, “Another one?! What are we doing?!” I didn’t…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens – Substance Abuse
Alcohol and drug dependence are coping mechanisms. Something is up, and they have developed a crutch to lean on. Here are some symptoms of a drinking problem, adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. You have tried to stop drinking for a set amount of time and couldn’t go the distance. 2. You want people to quit…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens. When Hard Times Come
It isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Stress can create police marriage problems but you can be prepared. Because my husband has PTSD from his deployment to Iraq, the Fourth of July is now about renting loud movies, closing all the windows and blinds or praying that he gets called into…
Read MoreChp 7: Your Support System – Rules of Interacting with Other Wives part 2
Last week’s blog has some tips on helping you have a support system with other police wives. Here are some more rules of engagement for you. Rule Number Three: They Are One, Not Two Rose’s husband is a deputy with a nearby county sheriff’s department. She was recounting to me how the office had experienced…
Read MoreThe Three Cord Strand
Recently Chief and I went to a co-worker’s wedding. During the ceremony, the couple braided three cords together as a symbol of their new marriage. One cord for the bride, one for the groom, and the third was symbolic of God. It was a Scottish/Irish tradition, and the pastor talked about how they were individuals…
Read MoreChp 6: Short v. Long Term Thinking-Emotional Baggage
When I Moved In, I Brought My Baggage Jim and Angie sat across from us, their meals barely touched. They recounted an issue that they couldn’t get past in their marriage, and it was huge. They were so concerned that they brought it to Brent and I, their mentors, to help them sort it out.…
Read MoreChp 6: Thick Skin, Soft Heart: How To Deal Emotionally
I don’t wear the badge on a uniform. But when you’re married to an officer, you wear the shadow of their badge on your heart. Pat, wife of a CHP officer who was injured on-duty Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength—carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time.…
Read MoreChp 5: Game Face, His Coping Mechanisms
His Coping Mechanisms Your cop will have his ways to deal with stress. You may not be crazy about some of them, but, if it’s working, you need to let it go. A couple of years ago, Brent had a chief who dealt with stress by having an occasional outdoor cigar-smoking session with a few…
Read MoreChp 5: Game Face-The Hero at Home
The Hero at Home Because this book covers different aspects of law enforcement marriage, it probably seems like my entire existence revolves around the fact that he is a cop. It doesn’t. There are areas of our lives that have nothing whatsoever to do with law enforcement. This is a big question for new officers’…
Read More