Chapter 2: All Roads, All Codes, All In! cont.
To commit to his job means choosing a good attitude when he’s at the jail late and you have to put the kids to bed by yourself. It means talking out your frustrations with him at an appropriate time instead of as he’s heading out the door for his shift. It is knowing full well that it may have to be this way until he catches that thief or arrests that killer. It means slipping into survival mode for a time to make things work. It may mean growing up a bit, having. But then, at the appropriate occasion, voice your concerns courageously instead of stuffing them inside to fester. Committing to his job means knowing that seasons come and go, persevering, and looking forward. This is tough to do and will take some practice, so let me give you one more perspective on this.
Partners at Home
Shortly after I started writing this book, word was spreading about what I was doing. I got a phone call one morning from a sergeant in our employee assistance unit with her full support. She told me that the timing was right for my book, as “the face of law enforcement is changing. We are discovering more and more the importance of emotional care for our officers, and we’re doing something about it. The families are a big component of that.”
My husband and I knew this early on in our marriage. He told me from the beginning that he couldn’t do this without me. I believed it then and even more so now. Your guy can go through the academy, he can train, and he can save lives, but there is another side of him that really needs you. Your respect can bolster his confidence. Your support can give him that extra emotional stability that he will need as his job wears him down. Your love can break down the walls he’ll be tempted to build around himself when what he sees hurts his sense of how the world should be. It may seem a little overstated to some, but when I say you are a not-so-silent partner behind the badge, our everyday reality shows it to be true.
Understanding your role in the big picture here can help you deal with the negative pieces of his job and convince you to commit to the cause. There is something to be said about the satisfaction in being a part of something bigger than yourself.
Commit to the Adventure
Solemn commitments are there for the long haul, put in place for the protection of you, your husband, and your marriage. But there are many seasons of pure enjoyment and fulfillment! There are many positive things about being the wife of a police officer. I chose a long time ago to look at our life together as an adventure. I chose a life of ups and downs, twists and turns, highs, lows, and everything in between. And I love it!
