Analyze This: Valentine’s Day
I’ve been amused by several postings about Valentine’s Day by random Facebook friends. I’ve seen everything from “I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY! FREE PASS FOR THE HUSBAND!” to “Dude, what’s the big deal about V-Day? It’s all about the candy, Bro!” I’m sure feelings run from apathy to heart-palpitating anticipation, pure hatred to ooey-gooey delight, and tantalizing proposals to flat out pain. I’m sure every one of us can remember a February 14th without a valentine. Or at least without the right valentine.
Today you saw roses and chocolate in every store, and perhaps every well-traveled street corner. The expectation is there – it’s unmistakable. From candy hearts and pre-made cutout cards by the box, pink heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast and big lip balloons at work, we are expected to get in line and succumb to the Hallmark mandate: Buy the roses. Or else.
My husband and I have been married 23 years, and I have received a total of 21 Valentine’s cards. There were two consecutive years that Chief decided to buck the system. It was a painful decision. He rebelled against the bejeweled expectations, roiled against the controlled hype of FTD, and refused to go with the Hershey’s flow.
“I told you once that I loved you,” he assured me, “I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”* And to some degree, it makes sense. This is how a lot of men feel. They resent being told that unless they go for the mushy, their love is less than adequate. Who says that a red cardboard box filled with empty calories is proof of devotion?! No wonder people hate Valentine’s Day!
But it hurt my feelings the first year. And the second – well, let’s just say he doesn’t miss an opportunity – even a silly one – to let me know how he feels.
We women LOVE to be loved. We long to be cherished. We desire to be desired. It is engrained into our very being. And when the day to day is mundane, and our dates few and far in between, and routine takes over, and those extra pounds from Christmas plague our sense of sexiness, a little pick-me-up is just what the doctor ordered. It’s the reminder that even though we’re committed and our love is strong, some extra effort to make each other feel special makes the journey that much more pleasurable. But perhaps it might be even better if we just did this from time to time without all the cutesy hoopla.
Once my husband understood the value I place on such gestures, he’s not so quick to shoot Cupid with his semi-automatic. Before the sun came up this morning, I was relishing the scent of a dozen roses and basking in the words within the pink card “with swirlies on it.” And before the night is done, he’ll be aptly reminded that chocolate is an aphrodisiac…
Hate Valentine’s Day? Just remember… it’s ALL about the candy, Bro!
*For concerned sisters, this was a tongue in cheek joke spoken by a cop.
I love the comment ” I told you once I loved you ….” I’ve actually heard my LEO say that to me too. Thanks for the blog. It feels like I’m always explaining other people missunderstandings of my life. Great to see words and situations that happen right here in my world every day. Great to hear gun references with such humor and normalcy. Not the unsure, questioning looks and comments I get when I let one drop. Thanks.
I loved this, dear Vicki…….it’s all so true and you wrote it with such good humor that I was chuckling through some of it. Thanks for putting in words what most women feel about “the” day.
Keep up with your blog writing, it’s a breath of fresh air.
I love what you wrote, Vicki….I have been a widow for 14 years but have 5 kids, one of which remembers me with roses ,candy and a sweet card….but what makes my day the most is remembering how much I am loves by my Savior and Lord Jesus…I never lack for chocolate…I buy it myself. It all tastes the same…yummy. god bless you friend for giving us meat to think about…I love your humor and candidness. No spell check on FB so hope I pass with a B
I love your book and blog! I have been married to a police officer for a little over 10 years now. He was recently promoted to Captain at his department and I felt a strong urge from God (yes, I’m a beleiver in Jesus Christ as my savior) that He wanted me to do something with my husband’s position. So, about 6 months ago I started a police wives group. Tonight is our second meeting of the year. We are currently reading I Love A Cop together and it is my plan to read your book together next. Thanks for your care and dedication to all of us police wives!
Total opposite for me I have known my husband since I was 15….I just turned 40. In all the years we have been together he has never bought me a card, chocolates or flowers for V-Day he always complaibestand said he hated it. I became use to the fact not to expect anything, however this year I was pleasantly surprised to find on the counter when I got home a card and a little box wrapped in gold paper. The card was beautiful and the diamond earrings were the best.